Twelve Days of Xmas – Starmer style

On the first day of Christmas Labour sent to me
A dead rose in a pear tree 

On the second day of Christmas Labour sent to me
Two sacked left councillors

And a dead rose in a pear tree

On the third day of Christmas Labour sent to me
Three  ministers fiddling

And a dead rose in a pear tree

[add all the gifts cumulatively in each verse ending with ‘and a deal rose in a pear tree]

On the fourth day of Christmas Labour sent to me

Four laws banning g protests

And a dead rose in a pear tree

On the fifth day of Christmas Labour sent to me

Five refugees a drowning

And a dead rose in a pear tree

On the sixth day of Christmas Labour sent to me

Six more migrants deporting

And a dead rose in a pear tree

On the seventh day of Christmas Labour sent to me

Less motability

And a dead rose in a pear tree

On the eight day of Christmas Labour sent to me

Eight hunger strikers a-dying

And a dead rose in a pear tree

On the ninth day of Christmas Labour sent to me

Nine slogans they’re  banning

And a dead rose in a pear tree

On the tenth day of Christma Labour sent to me

Ten more doctors striking

And a dead rose in a pear tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas Labour sent to me

Eleven bungs for bosses

And a dead rose in a pear tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas Labour sent to me

Twelve new jets a-bombing

And a dead rose in a pear tree

Sung to the traditional tune of Twelve Days of Christmas (it scans, more or less)